Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Bob Stoops hates Puppies, Jesus, and Healthy Nephrons

Some of you might be wondering what it was that pushed my kidneys from not quite perfect to completely rotten. I’ve got two words for you: Bob Stoops.
Yeah. That’s right.
Okay well, not exactly. At some point mid-July, I probably ate at a restaurant and had a lovely meal. The problem with that lovely meal was that whoever prepared it wasn’t feeling too hot. This same person also apparently wasn’t familiar with this weird little ritual called hand washing. So along with my lunch (I’m picturing this evil little thing appearing in an innocent looking salad) came a parasite, which I have affectionately come to call Bob Stoops.
After about a week of incubating in my tummy, Bob Stoops decided to rear his ugly head. And then, it was the beginning of the end. The timing was really confusing because I had just gotten out of the hospital after checking into the ER for a migraine. So I thought I had picked up a little bug by touching some surface there. Also, my blood pressure medication had just been raised. It’s made me sick to my stomach in the past. Was it possible that this new high dosage was tearing up my insides again?
All these variables, plus the fact that I was out of the state for 5 days meant that this whole thing went unchecked for well over a week. When I got back to Texas, I went to the doctor and got a string of tests done just to safe. All the usual bacterium and viruses came back negative but one thing did stand out: This had taken my kidneys from bad to worse. I needed to get to the hospital ASAP.
A few days later, and I get the news every Cosmo girl wants to hear: you have a parasite. Oh, that’s nice. The one silver lining came when they pulled out the scale on me and I had lost 5 pounds. I tried to hold my excitement. It was the first time I had felt good in days.
I’ve been out of the hospital since Sunday and I’m finally getting over it. Unfortunately, the damage of Bob Stoops still remains and I am left with 13% kidney function. So we gotta get this show on the road. Now that my thighs don’t touch together when I walk, I feel pretty much unstoppable.

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