Friday, April 29, 2011


Today has been one of those days that was unexpectedly difficult. As one who wishes to rise above any malicious talk, I won't divulge names or personal details. For a little background of the day, I was basically seen as unreliable because of my physical and past emotional problems, which was something I had never heard before. If you read this regularly, I think you can all appreciate the strides I have made. I am at a stable place with my breathing. It isn't normal, but I try my hardest to live a normal life. I push myself through pain to make sure I remain the good daughter, sister, and friend I was before all of this, while still keeping my health as a top priority. I have even flown across the country to make sure I get the best of the best for every medical need. Restoring my health is my number one goal.

I am recovering from major depressive disorder and grief disorder. I've reached a level of acceptance with my condition. I am huge proponent of seeking help and not shying away from medication, as long as it's only temporary. I have gone from darkness to light, hopeless to optimistic, and melancholy to joyful. Until recently, I was unable to see all the blessings in my life. Now, every day, I find new things that make it worth living to the fullest.

With all the progress I feel I've made, it's hard to accept someone seeing you as undesirable for the things in your life which you can't change, although you'd give anything if you could. You work so hard, battle things that most people will never know about, and are still undersold. So I went to some of my biggest fans: my siblings. I immediately felt validated again, and loved tremendously. My brother, Kyle said something so sweet and so profound, I had to share it with you all:

Your "limitations" are yours. Everyone has them. Love is cool because it sees those "limitations" as more reason to love, not a reason to run.

So thank you to all of you who have been able to see past the sickness, and have acknowledged the strength that the last 7 months or so have required. Thank you for seeing my limitations and loving me, not just in spite of, but because of them. You are a big part of where I find my joy amidst the pain in my life. I will never be able to repay you. I can only continue to try and be the best daughter, sister, and friend to each and every one of you.

Love, Mary

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