Sunday, June 26, 2011

the expected, unexpectedly

There's a Reckless Kelly in town, so you know I'm going to be there, even if it means moving a week of treatments around. Secondly it was a date! I love Tacos and Tequila that place popped up first (I got to pick :)). This dream date was supposed to culminate at Abel's, laughing at all those sad folks in Nowitzki garb.

However, as I entered Lucy's Retired Surfer's Bar, which was crowded but not overflowing,I began feeling suffocated to the point where I LEFT A RECKLESS KELLY show. I was into something way more serious that I could have imagined. Eric, my saviour for the night, getting me into a room at the ER. While I waited for my parents to arrive, he calmed me down and even made me laugh. So props to Eric for being more than just a great date but also a life saver. If you never call again cause of my drama, i'll understand why haha.

Pneumonia knocked me down HARD once again my friends. This is my 21st day in the hospital with no food, drink, or speech. Boy did I not expect this. I've made it though nightmares, hallucinations, and missing my dog so dearly over these past days. The more I've been here, the less emotional I've been about missing the life I was living. God has taken away my pride and now I simply have tunnel vision to get better. If this is how it's gonna go, if this is what I'm meant to fight, let me fight it 100%. I see no reason why in 6 months, I can't have a whole new life.

It was kind of an eerie, freeing, feeling. We all knew the day would probably come when I couldn't survive on these lungs. The day is coming and none of us are terrified. I feel confident in my dreams to have good health again. I want a simple life, full of all of you and full of moments not spent thinking about my lungs.

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